When we got to the HEB parking lot I grabbed the handle to get out of the car, but he locked the doors and told me that we needed to talk before we went inside.  I said ok, and shifted as far away from him as I could, but with bench seats it isn’t that easy. He grabbed my hand and put it on the crotch of his pants. He told me to feel how hard I made him and when I did not he made my hand grab his penis.

I was disgusted. He said that this would be my punishment for misbehaving, that I would have to make him feel better. I knew he was meant something more than grabbing his penis because as soon as he started saying it he unzipped his pants and pulled his penis out of his underwear. I was terrified, but he kept reminding me that it would be far worse for me, my mom and the rest of the family if I didn’t listen , so I did.

I had his penis in my hand when he told me to bend over and kiss it. I very quickly said NO WAY, but he pushed my head down and made me put my lips on his penis. I almost threw up, so he told me we would work our way up to head….my first time hearing the word in that manner. Then he told me to take off my shorts and to not say a word or else. I wasn’t sure what “or else” was but it terrified me, so I did what he said.

I was so terrified that I didn’t argue the rest of the time, from him telling me to take my shorts and then my panties off, to when he told me to come closer and open my legs. This is the first time I had ever been fingered, and I was so scared I started crying. He told me there was nothing to be scared of “Everything will be fine, I love you and would never hurt you” is what he told me, I would grow up hearing this line a lot from this man.

My mom and step-dad eventually got a decent house and had my sister and brother. I soon moved in with them. Nothing sexual happened again until I was about 12 or 13.

Some of the things I remember from this first time was this…..it was very cold outside, I was in shorts and a tank top, it was in the family car, and it began in the HEB parking lot.

I had gotten in trouble for something….because I could never do anything right and was always in my step-dads hair. He told my mom that he and I were going to go to HEB to pick up some stuff for a BBQ we were having, and told me just to get in the car. I told him it was cold and I wanted to change but he told me there was no need, there was a heater in the car and that we would only be outside for a short period of time. I didn’t think anything of it, he was usually this way, but when we got away from the house, he started touching my leg and telling me he was very unhappy with me.

He told me I was a bad girl and that he was trying to figure out a way for me to be punished, but he was having a hard time thinking about punishing me when I was so fucking hot. I was immediately surprised when he said this, I knew it was not the way a dad was supposed to talk or act with his daughter. I said for him to not talk to me that way, that it was wrong, but he just told me to shut up and listen.

He told me that I was supposed to do whatever he said or he was going to tell my mom that I tried to grab him and that she loved him so much she would believe him. I knew he was right, my mom never stood up to him when I would get punished for something my sister or brother did, so I did what he said.

The Beginning

When I was about 2 and a half my mom and dad got divorced. We came to Texas to live with my grandparents.

My mom started dating her high school sweetheart and eventually moved in with him and then got married. I stayed with my grandparents because they could not afford to have me live with them.

I would occasionally go and spend the weekends with my mom and new step dad and when I was about 5 or so my step-dad was in bed and when I went to go wake him up he had me play with his penis. I didn’t really think anything of though….shit I was five. This didn’t happen frequently but I can remember it happening enough that I didn’t think anything of trying to convince my friends to take their pants off.

We were all about 7 when this happened and I was told by one of them that this was wrong. I felt so bad I stopped hanging out with the friends who knew that it was wrong.

Hello world!

abuse education

I am creating this blog in order for others to be able to read it and gain the strength to change their situations.

To start I am a late 20′ year old female and for most of my teenage years I was sexually molested by my Mother’s second husband (my step-father).

In this blog I plan to write all that has happened to me from beginning to the end. IT WILL get a bit graphic and I suspect it will cause some people to be disgusted, but this isn’t for them, this is primarily for myself and if my telling of my life encourages someone else to change theirs and report the monsters abusing them, then it will be the proverbial icing on the cake.

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